Share this story with people who are way too happy in order to bum them the fuck back down to Earth:

A new report says that starving North Koreans are resorting to cannibalism and eating their own children.

—In response, the North Korean government denied the story, then held a pointless military parade, and then fired a rocket into the East China Sea.

—Well, that’s one way to avoid paying for breakfast.

—Your move, Anthony Bourdain.

READ IT AND WEEP

Share this story with people who are way too happy in order to bum them the fuck back down to Earth:

A viral video has surfaced showing a Cuban woman forcing her 3 year-old son to get a tattoo.

—Mutilating a shrieking baby.  Isn’t that what circumcision is for?

—That 3 year-old was Cuban, so he actually managed to put off his tattoo by 2 years.

—That’s the worst thing I’ve seen featuring three “6’s” since Girls.

Share this story with people who are way too happy in order to bum them the fuck back down to Earth:

Victims’ families of the Aurora Colorado movie theater shooting were asked by the theater chain to attend the theater’s re-opening.

The downside is reliving a horrible tragedy, but, on the plus side…stadium seating!

Share this story with people who are way too happy in order to bum them the fuck back down to Earth:

Police in Hawaii are searching for a man they suspect of throwing a Japanese tourist off a cliff.  

Meanwhile, a Japanese tourist visiting Hawaii took a lot of great pictures of him being thrown off a cliff.

Before the man pushed the tourist off the cliff, he reportedly said, “That’s for my grandfather, who was at Pearl Harbor…the movie.”